This one is a corker!

If you are new here - welcome!

If you’re used to me dropping in your inbox on a Sunday morning, you’ll be well aware I like to set the scene for you on occasion, so you can really feel into where I am when I’m writing this email.

Once again, I’m using the dictation tool in the Notes app of my phone, performing the high-octane task of folding washing. I am nothing if not glamorous and aspirational!

Yes, I’m an entrepreneur with a business and life that makes my heart sing (most of the time) and a skill to help you do the same. I’m also a mum, daughter, wife, sister, niece, friend, puller together and coordinator of most things related to all of these, a massive lover of LIFE, and a mental and physical health enthusiast (with the occasional outburst of stroppy cow thrown in for good measure).

As I fold (Marie Kondo style—the pleasure it gives me!), I’m practising my upcoming talk for Ideas Fest, with post-it notes mounted on a Perspex board propped up in front of me. That’s when I felt a wave of nerves and a massive pang of pride… which turned into this email to you.

The overriding, massively important message I want to deliver to you today is this: You will never feel ready to do the things that scare you. Never. In fact, if you decide to wait until you ‘feel ready,’ my bet is you will spend your whole lifetime waiting… Then you’ll look back upon your life having never dared because you never ‘felt ready,’ and it’ll be too late…

The only way to get braver, to grow in confidence, to expand that comfort zone is to just bloody DO THE THING.

I heard two quotes this week that will remain in my sight constantly:

“Regret is permanent, fear is temporary” – BANG!

And

“Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo” - How powerful?

We are here once, and we are a speck in a tiny universe, being gifted the most valuable, short, precious gift that so many aren’t afforded the opportunity to experience… What have you got to lose? GO FOR IT. Live. Do the things!!

On September 13, I will be giving a talk at Ideas Fest in front of a few hundred people. This comes from a girl who went bright red and was unable to breathe during a trustee meeting, with half the people round the table being my own family. I carried around with me the narrative that “I’m just not one of those people” who could speak in front of others.

I’d go bright red if I bumped into someone in the street that I knew and wasn’t expecting to see. Why it would happen sometimes but not others, I still have no clue.

What I do know is that over the years, I’ve changed a lot (I do still go red on occasion - or get random damp armpits but I think that’s my age? Too much?). This is not by chance. It’s all been very intentional. Some of the things that have led to this intentional change have been completely out of my control, but rather than choose to be a victim to the circumstances, I’ve used them to my power to help me grow. I’m proud of that, and at this stage of my life, I can look back and feel proud of what I’ve made of myself thus far and what I have in my vision and plans in action for the future, and I absolutely want that for you too.

Life isn’t perfect; it’s a work in progress, it’s ever changing and it’s never a breeze (so remove the added pressure of chasing that pinnacle). But it’s gorgeous and rich and wonderful!

My life, myself too, is very much a work in progress, but I 100% know what my values and beliefs are, and I work hard, consistently realigning and reassessing, and pulling myself back to those values. This is where happiness grows.

I get it wrong often. We are human - we always will. We will never be 'perfect' (what even is that?), but what I have developed, and what I strongly encourage us all to work on developing, is a massive sense of self-awareness.

Ooh, time for another valuable quote at this point:

“All roads lead back to us.”

The only one certain thing we have control over in this life is ourselves. We cannot control our environment, other people, or how they make us feel. What we can control is our commitment to developing our self-awareness, being conscious of, noticing and allowing ourselves to process our feelings, and learning how to take control of our lives by controlling our reactions to these feelings. This is a game changer in life.

The talk I’m doing is called “The Happiness Trap: Stop Lying to Yourself and Start Living.” Essentially, it’s about how we’ve all learned happiness is created, what it looks like, and how we are supposed to reach it, how we’ve been misled into thinking it comes from ticking the boxes society tells us to achieve and how there is actually no 'destination' to reach in the first place! The talk is 20 mins and more in depth, but you know, in a nutshell!

I truly believe that happiness is an inside job. Happiness is created when you become the person that, deep down, you know you’re meant to be. Dare to say the things you know you’re longing to say, and do the things you know you’re longing to do.

So, while we are on the subject, here’s a really practical exercise for you to get you moving toward doing those things right now.

Step 1: Reflect on Any and All Past Successes (you get to choose what those successes were - big and/or small - this is your practice)

Think of something you’ve already done that you didn’t think you could; something you’re proud of. Recall how you felt before, during, and after doing it. What were the emotions that came up before you did it? How did those feelings shift as you edged yourself through and accomplished it? Take a moment to really tune into that whole experience.

Step 2: Get Clear on Your Current “Dare”

Now, bring to mind that one thing you wish you’d dare to do today. What’s that goal or dream you’re holding back on? Be specific about what it is. Get really clear.

Step 3: Go Deep into the Why Nots.

Ask yourself: What exactly is stopping you? Is it fear of failure, judgement from others, or maybe self-doubt? Write down those feelings and thoughts that are holding you back/stopping you.

Step 4: Challenge Your Fears

Now, let’s do a bit of a “what’s the worst that could happen?” exercise. Imagine the worst-case scenario—if you went for it and things didn’t go as planned, what’s the absolute worst that could happen? And then what? Keep going. What would happen after that? Often, when we really break down our fears, we realise they’re not as insurmountable as they previously seemed.

Step 5: Make the Decision!

So, now you’ve explored and confronted your fears, ask yourself: Should you give it a try? What might happen if you dared to take that first step? What’s waiting for you on the other side of that fear?

Your life is yours to create. Nobody is going to do it for you. I want you to squeeze every bit out of it in the way you know you want to. Let’s not leave this earth with regrets, let’s leave with deep love and pride filled memories and emotions and a tonne of stories and experiences shared!

Make this a cracker of a week.